The One With the Rude Lady at the Convention

I was at some sort of work-related convention at a huge center.  I was in the main lobby area trying to figure when I was supposed to go into the big room was where all the action currently was, but was at the moment filled with Japanese businessmen.  The announcer was speaking English, however, because I heard him say sarcastically, "Wow, look at the big orange gay pride flag..." but it was actually a confederate flag hanging up.  They were going to drive a car up a ramp through the flag like the Dukes of Hazard.  

The entrance was cordoned off and they were taking tickets from people when it was their turn to come in.  Tim H. from MM walked past me because it was his time to go in, and he took a bowling ball like everyone else was doing before going in, and rolled it up a two-railed track.  A ticket person said, "oh, so close."  It was like bocce where you had to roll your ball hard enough to knock someone out of place without going too far. 

Still trying to figure out my time, I figured I needed to have lunch first because my session must be after lunch.  The lunch area was a gigantic buffet with themed sections.  I walked by an Italian section that had various slices of pizza and spaghetti, and came to a Mexican section that had eggplant flatbread that looked good (Mexican? dream logic).  I went to get a tray, but the trays were all edible and there were multiples to choose from.  I think I chose an eggplant flatbread tray (again, dream logic) and went to get my eggplant flatbread, which had like 3 lengthwise slices of eggplant and cheese on each bread.  The lady before me had taken hers and was scraping one more slice of eggplant off the last flatbread (the one I wanted).  I said, "Thanks for taking toppings off the last piece of flatbread that I wanted."  She turned and she looked familiar.  I said, "Hey, I've yelled at you for something similar in the past, haven't I?"  She smirked and said, "Yeah you have.  Too bad."  She turned and walked away.  I was bummed but a person that was working the buffet came up to me and asked "Bet you didn't know you could ask for artisan cheese from the farmer's market." and she had a spatula of another piece of eggplant with special cheese that she put on the bread to replace the stolen piece.  I thanked her and took my food to the sitting area.

Unfortunately, the sitting area was several floors down from the buffet and all of a sudden my arms were full with my tray and shopping bags.  With full arms, I tried navigating between people in crowded areas and the stairs had people just sitting there or standing in the way.  A lady helped me get through one area and I said, "Thank you for being the only person that offered to help me this whole time!"  She replied, "Thank you for accepting my help without (I can't remember what she said here exactly but I think it was like 'grabbing onto me'); we understand each other!  Have a great week, great day!"  I kept trying to go down to the sitting area and she followed me.  I finally got to this place where I could go down, but it was big steps down into these terraced planters with no plants, just dirt.  I jumped down two levels, and the lady who helped me who was still above me said, "You DIDN'T just do that!" and laughed.  That's when I woke up.

The One Where I Was the Musical Comedy Act, of Sorts.

I was in a restaurant and it was time for me to head downstairs to the first floor to the bar section where I was an act of sorts.  I went downstairs and sat at the piano, but I had a guitar.  There was one older gentleman with gray hair, he was balding, and had glasses.  I don't remember seeing a computer or laptop, but I got the impression that he was working somehow.

My thing was I was going to play somewhat funny music.  In the dream, I was about as good at the guitar as I am in real life, which means I only know a few chords and struggle with timely transitions.  I said that I was very good at guitar (obviously being sarcastic) and that I could "learn him" how to play guitar if he wanted.

I started playing the Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel but the lyrics were made up on the fly about how I hit an old woman with my car.  She had her hair up in one of those tiny buns on the top of her head and it left that shape in the side of my car when I hit her. 

The old gentleman found that somewhat amusing, so I kept the subject on her and would sometimes stop of make comments, like how some old lady's hair looks nice but when you go to touch it, it's wiry and rough.  At that, he laughed and nodded like I knew exactly what I was talking about.

I finished that song and asked him what I thought, and he joked that I was going to have to "learn him" how to play the guitar like that some time.  I mentioned that I was making up lyrics on the fly, and a nearby waitress chimed in with some lyric suggestions that I don't recall.  I started talking with her and I woke up.

The One at the Mall

I dreamed that I was at a pretty large mall.  I went to a pet store that had tiny giraffes in the bird area and little frogs outside of tanks that would lose their legs if you picked them up.  I picked one up and a leg came off, and then another before I put it back.  Then after that I saw a sign that said not to pick up the frogs.

There was another area where they kept bringing out animals to interact with.  First there was a baby goat, so I got down on all fours and it climbed on my back.  At this point, my friend Mark met me at the store.  Then a woman dressed and made up like Marilyn Monroe brought out a lizard that looked like a baby alligator as it raced over to me, but then changed into more of a small gila monster.  At first it looked aggressive, but when I pet it, it became very affectionate like a cat.

Later I was in a restaurant or pub that had this weird bicycle looking thing and if you pulled a ring on a chain, it would open a gate into a secret section that was sort of like a cross between a game and escape room.  It was like a car with a video screen.  I "drove" the car into an area that had fire on the video screen and had to find stuff to put into funnel-like receptacles to put it out.  

A couple of kids came in while I was doing it, and they were trying to play it with me. 

Then I woke up.

The One on the Tropical Vacation

Jose and I went on vacation to some tropical location.  We were walking along the beach and I wore my new Earthrunners sandals.  There was a hole in the sand, and when I looked inside, there were these interesting clams that had multicolored stripes on their shells and large clam beards.  When I picked one up, there was a label on them that said "Shrimp Clams".  

A guy walked by with his wife and young boy and was asking me what I was looking at, but he only spoke Spanish.  I didn't know the word for clam so I said "camarones clams" and asked Jose what the word for clam was and he said, but I don't remember what it was.  

Then the guy asked us for our opinion on which of two sunglasses he had we liked better.  There was one pair that had white mirrored lenses but the eye frames were too far apart for his face.  The other had amber lenses and looked better but the frames were too narrow and kind of made him look cross eyed.  I told him I liked the white ones better.

I took my sandals off and waded in the water for a bit, which was super warm, and then realized my sandals were supposed to be good in the water so I tried wading while having them on.

We wanted to take a photo near a sign near the beach, but there were a ton of people hanging around it, so we ended up going onto a stairwell to take a photo there, and then man with the glasses and two other guys came to take the photo with us.  We never took the photo because his wife and kid went downstairs into a lower level where shops were to go to the bathroom and we were waiting for them.  An older couple who were waiting for us to move (although I thought they were just hanging out on the stairs like a lot of people were) to go downstairs got a little frustrated and the wife said "let's just go down this way instead" and I apologized because I didn't know they wanted to get by, and they should've just said something.

I vaguely remember walking around a store, looking for the bathroom (I had to pee in real life) but the only "bathrooms" where these big tables you sat at that had holes in the side that you peed into.  What women did I have no idea.

Next thing I remember we were at a restaurant and Alexa was sitting to my right - she came along on the vacation with us.  At one point we were looking at her iPad and a photo came up of her lying her back with her lifting up her waistband, like a teasing photo like she was going to take a sexy picture.  She took the iPad back quickly because she didn't realize it would come up and she was a little embarrassed but only because the guys that wanted to take the photo with us were at the table with us too.

On my iPad there was a photo that she must've photoshopped and added to my iPad as a joke - it was her with an erect penis and she was holding onto it like she was masturbating but was crying - it was supposed to be "how'd I get this?"  I was asking her how she got it onto my iPad - did she guess my passcode or had I left it unlocked (the latter was true in this case).  I asked her to take it off and she did so by tearing off a paper card at the back of my iPad with the photo on it.  While we were on the trip, I had this like paper cardboard cover put on my iPad (maybe from the resort) and I noticed there were two more that were put over the original one.  

That's when I woke up and immediately texted Alexa about the photoshopped pic.