The One with the Big Layoff

I was in my cubicle at work and everyone was looking out the windows.  There was a bunch of people outside and I think they laid off a whole division or sub and we were watching them leave all at once, kind of like a fire drill.

I went back to my cubicle and three of us were sitting in my cube with Mike (who didn't say a word), eating breakfast.  I was trying to tell Jeff about a dream I had with him in it, but there were two ladies who looked like lesbians who kept trying to listen.

I told them I couldn't tell the dream with them there but they didn't leave, and finally I said 'SHOO!'  And one said, "Was it a dream that they came and found porn on your work computer because you're so adorable?"  I said, "Yeah that's it!  Shoo!!"

I was eating something that I can't remember, Sarah was eating red jello and Jeff had creamy rice with peaches.  Sarah tried some of the rice and peaches but mixed it with her jello and was like, urm....  I thought about trying it but I asked Jeff if he was sick and he said yes.

Then I woke up.

The One with the Used Toothpicks

Just before waking up this morning, but after my alarm had gone off, I had a dream that I was in a kitchen. It was in an apartment and not one that I recognized. My sister was eating some kind of roll and it looked like it had finely chopped broccoli on top of it and she was eating only the topping.

I asked her about the rolls and I cut one in half and put it in the toaster.

Next thing I remember was that I was outside with Debbie and one other person - maybe Jose. We were in a town with lots of eclectic shops. I wasn't sure if it was a big or small.

We went into a small shop that had all hand-made baked goods like poppy seed muffins and little loaves of sweet bread. I was thinking of getting a muffin but don't think I did. Debbie got something though.

At the cash register, they had a refrigerator and the door had a sign that they reused toothpicks and that they washed them and you could put the used ones in little holes in the door. I had a toothpick so I put it in one.

While we were in the store I remember that I had put the roll in the toaster and never taken it how, and was thinking how it could get stuck and cause a fire.

When we were leaving, I did something and accidentally stuck my knuckle in Deb's eye.

The One with the Horrible Customer Service

I had a dream I was at the Big E (a big fair) with my parents, my sister and Jose.

I was at a vendor that sold a bunch of things, but included was health and beauty products and I bought the Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler - - that my friend Janessa had told me about. This one didn't have the metal bar where the pad attaches though... it worked really weird - like just the pad itself moved.

I wasn't sure if it was the right one (I couldn't remember the name for obvious reasons) and I called Jill to double check, and when the phone rang I could hear it - she was working at the vendor part time. The vendor also did plastic surgery and had an oxygen bar in another room.

I bought the curler, but when I looked at it, there was something wrong with the pad, and I wanted to get another one. They left to get it (another saleswoman, not Jill) and were gone for like a half an hour, and when they returned, it had a different pad on it that wasn't as thick as the original.

Apparently the new pads weren't as thick, and I wasn't sure if I wanted it anymore. They left to get another one, were gone another half hour and came back with a bag. They said they included $120 worth of free stuff in the bag and the original price was $30.

I looked in the bag and it was all purple and pink thread - like big spools of leftover thread. I said, "So you gave me a pound of crap I don't need or want? I want my money back."

The sales woman said, "Well, I don't want to do that, but I guess I have to." She gave me this piece of paper that was a form I needed to fill out and sign and a blue highlighter-type pen. The paper was blank, but was the form was in that ink that you have to go over with the pen to make the text appear.

I pitched a fit, so they gave me a pre-printed form that I signed. I think on that version there was like a Frequently Asked Questions section and there was a question about how the invisible ink form was ridiculous and why did they do it?

They gave me my money back but in all quarters. I was so mad a yelling and swearing at the woman.

When I left, I pretended that the woman pushed me and I fell, saying "Did you see that? She pushed me!" I wanted to make her life a living hell.

A woman was with me (not my sister) when I bought the curler... I think it might have been my friend Melany or Ileana. I remember a guy walking into the vendor area wearing really crazy clown-like clothes and me making a comment to her about it.

The One at Taco Bell

I stopped at the Taco Bell in Westfield, and it was generally in the same location as the real one, although the stores and parking lot layout around it was different.

It was a larger-than-normal building for Taco Bell, and divided in half cross-wise. If you were looking at the front door from the outside, the left was where you ordered and there was one of those people corrals, and the right was where the seating was and there was a second entrance on the side.

Also, it was one of those Taco Bells that had another restaurant in the same location. I can't remember what the other restaurant was, though.

I had to park pretty far away from the entrance because there were so many handicapped spots. I ended up parking near a gas station where the attendants looked really grubby and shady. I was wary about the safety of my car (which I think was the same as my real-life one) but since it was near the gas station, I figured it was all right.

I started ordering at the counter and the cashier asked for my drink order first. Then John came in and she took his drink order before I had ordered the rest of my meal. Then another woman from work, Sara, came in and she took her drink order too. I knew it was weird and was kind of annoyed, but since I knew everyone I was OK at this point.

When Sara was asked about her drink, she asked when the last time they had Lysol'd - she said, "Is your Lysol fresh?" The cashier said, "Yes..." And Sara asked, "Well, what's the date on the Lysol?" and the woman said 8/21/2009. Sara said, "Oh, 2009. Great! But I'm not going to get anything to drink."

We were all confused, and Sara said that on that date the weather was good.

Next, a guy I didn't know came in and put in his drink order, and at this point I was getting annoyed because I was really hungry and still hadn't put my food order in.

And still, Andrea came in and put her drink order in. I knew it was Andrea ******** in the dream, but when I had to sign her receipt, I had to sign her last name that was only four letters, although I don't remember the name.

We put in our food orders, and I had coupons in my black bag. I had one for a drink coupon, which I asked about and woman didn't know I had given it to her (there was something else to this, but I can't understand what I said on the dictation machine!).

Andrea had gone out to her car for some reason and it was time to start signing the credit card receipts. I thought at first that the woman put everything on my credit card, but someone she had rung them up all separately.

I was starving and Andrea was outside, so I was going to sign it for her, and I wrote out "Andrea" and was about to write that four-letter last name and the man asked if she knew I was doing that when Andrea came back in. She saw what I was doing and said, "No, you can't do that, how dare you!"

She took the pen and was going to finish when I woke up.

The One with the Video Store Shooting

I was in a video store with a friend of mine (don’t remember who) and a guy that was older than us and served as some sort of role model normally - like a teacher, older relative, etc. While we were looking at videos - I remember there being a Disney section with no Little Mermaid, and a Bette Midler special section with a boxed set of all her stuff, he got some gloves and had a gun in his pocket.

When we were at the checkout, he took out the gloves, put them on the wrong hands and held the gun in his left hand (he was right handed) and pointed it at a guy in line’s head. But then another guy doing the same sort of thing did the same and shot the guy.

Well all ran outside the store and the guy that actually did the shooting ran to a bag on the ground in the parking lot, with another guy lying in the lot, and put on a wig and the two men pretended that they were sun bathing in the parking lot, but they were dressed like women.

The police came and ignored them... it seems the plan was that both men would do the same thing but they didn’t know who had the actual live round in their gun or something. Then my dream transitioned into another one somehow....

"What Did I Dress For Halloween"

Somehow this dream had a title: “What Did I Dress For Halloween”. I’m not sure how that happened, but I knew it when I woke up. This dream was a bit different because although I didn’t open my eyes, I’m pretty sure it happened in the middle of the night instead of the morning close to waking. I went to sleep very early last night, so I guess that it happened around midnight or so.

At the beginning of the dream, there were two boats - canoe-ish boats that are pushed along by oars (not rowing), not unlike the water taxis in Venice although not as nice.

A fight of sorts was imminent, so we had to descend (with the boats) underwater to a two-room shack. On my side of the fight was Mohinder (or someone that looked like him) from the TV show Heroes, an older man and perhaps two other people. There was a young boy, perhaps 6 or 7 years old but I’m still unclear which side he was on.

While underwater, we could either hold our breath indefinitely, or we could breathe underwater. I’m not sure which. I don’t remember feeling the sensation of breathing during the dream, nor the sensation of holding my breath.

On the other side of the fight was at least one old American Indian man. I believe there was a young boy on his side, too, but I can’t remember if there were two boys or not.

We sent Mohinder down in a boat on his own as bait to distract the other side while we set the shack up as a base or sanctuary. I remember there being a light in the boat with him, glowing green I believe, and knowing that it was a sacrificial move.

The young boy drowned somehow, and the old man from the other side someone got into the first room of our shack. I fought with him by forcefully slapping his forehead with both of my hands, each time causing his head to crack open (like the movie Kung Fu Hustle when the old woman breaks the top off the funeral bell). Each time it cracked, pumpkin seeds came out of his head, kind of oozing out of the crack. I don't recall him really doing anything to fight back physically.

When his head was cracked about halfway, he said that he wanted to stop but I told him that it was too late, because he was already dead.

At that point, it became apparent that for some reason, when people were dying they were hanging around. I wasn’t sure if it was because we were underwater, because it was dark (it was nighttime) or for some other reason. But I knew that it wasn’t permanent - if something changed, they would “move on”. I speculated in my head that perhaps once they were exposed to sunlight they would die for real. Mohinder died and moved on because he was going to die anyway and it was his time.

Toward the end of the dream I realized that other famous people had spent time in that underwater shack. I “saw” a poster of faces but I don’t think it was a real poster - I just visualized it. It was of famous people that either had disappeared or died or were hounded by paparazzi. I remember Princess Diana and I think it included Amelia Earhart.

The One with the Award Party

I had a dream that I was going to a party with Julie P. It started out as being a regular party, but it turned out to be an awards party and I was due to get an award for being a director of photography on a film. I spent the vast majority of the dream going through all my pants and shirts, trying to figure out what to wear.

There was a woman trying to help me - like I was shopping for clothes in a store but I was trying on all my clothes. I ended up getting mad at her and I think I was mean to her, and then a guy got mad at me for getting mad at the woman and he was threatening to kick my ass or something.

I ended up changing my mind and asked the woman for help, but she wanted me to try on dresses. She wanted me to wear two - one for "before the Emperor" and one for "after the Emperor" - like before and after I won the award. I didn't want to wear dresses, so she mentioned something about leather, and I remembered my leather pants. I think I was going to wear those after I won, and before I was going to wear black pants and a red shirt with a black sweater over the shirt.

I woke up sweaty and feeling anxious.